that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize