Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
