Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I cut my penus on the lid.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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