My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
