Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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