9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
