So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
