I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
