he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I FOUND THE LEGS
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
