Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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