Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
