my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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