well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
