one might say we're banned from that church
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm at about main and main street
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Randomize
