please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My liver just broke up with me...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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