u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Randomize
