remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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