I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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