I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
