You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
