In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
im drinking this country out of the recession.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
