I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I need water and some morals
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
