I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just invented taco cereal.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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