nutella sex= disaster
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
