oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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