Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
