He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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