so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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