I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
