you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
