I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
