Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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