Even the bartender felt bad for me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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