I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i barfeds in our rink
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
me + whiskey = a bad person
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
