Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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