We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
