every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
