He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
