There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
