community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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