I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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