HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
