Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
