Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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