just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
