Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i now understand why vodka
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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