ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
