You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
