can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
