I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
