So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
someone owes me an orgasm
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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