I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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