Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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