You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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