She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Small penises have feelings too.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize