you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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