Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
