Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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