I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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