I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
