God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
