i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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