Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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